Crying • 3/17/23
Crying I’m crying and I now know why I’m so sick and tired of fighting Sick and tired of proving myself Of being at the blunt end of the danger being placed upon my heart There’s a lump in my throat and it won’t escape Can’t escape, I will not let it escape? I’ve said all the words, I’ve given all the rebuttals I’ve said everything that needs to be said And yet I am still here in this place… heart broken … heart shattered… Mind…. I can’t bury these feelings any longer or it’s going to kill me… Sadness Sadness is a different kind of depression A circumstantial one One that doesn’t slowly fade away as you do things to improve your life As you go to therapy As you work to make it disappear one day Sadness is a different kind of beast. I cannot escape the circumstances which make me feel this way. I cannot run fast enough from the oncoming storm cloud that is my circumstances. I must inevitably face it and hope I don’t get beat down by its force. There’s a sick feeling in my stomach and I can’t make it go away no matter how much I try - a different home-sickness